I hope you don’t mind my vulnerability and rawness.  

“Lord, please don’t give me a child with special needs.” 

I’ve prayed this prayer. 

“Mothers of children with special needs are courageous and well equipped. I’m not strong enough for that” I thought. “God will give me healthy children. I am his child, and I am blessed and highly favored.”   

Have you ever wondered if Gods plan for your life could actually be greater than what you imagined for yourself?  Yes, you may have to suffer for a little while, but what if that suffering gave birth to new life and purpose?

My intention after suffering grief is to love harder. To not take things for granted. I am a not the person I was before grief, nor would I ever want to be. Losing Michael took something from me. It ripped me to my core, and made me question everything in life. At first it made me bitter, but then my heart was softened and my burden was lightened. I was made for this moment. I needed to be stripped of all pride, to be broken down from within-so that I might know how to truly rely on the Father.  

So where do I go from here? My hope is to help others realize that Gods grace is enough. That even in your darkest hour, his love is sufficient, and his mercies are new. Yes, it is unfair. It aches to the core. But, with great pain, there comes great triumph and healing.

My intention is to turn my pain into something well formed. I will never take Malachi’s life and his abilities for granted. Yes, his life involves struggles, but he is alive-he is my child and he is loved. Forever he will be loved. I am a mother of a child with special needs. You make it because you have to, not because you are “strong.”

I am a mother of a child that died in my arms. I have grieved until my heart felt shattered. I have cried enough tears to fill the oceans deep. But I am here, and I have purpose. My intention is to be more than a survivor, but to be an overcomer-through Christ. This is my intention. 

My calling is more than just writing. If you would like me to speak at a small group at your church, an event for grief support, a Wednesday night class or service-please contact me at allisonstone0422@yahoo.com.  I would love to share my story, about how God has given me new life, even in the mist of bitter suffering-and how he can do the same for you.  His grace is enough. Period.