Dear grieving mother,

It’s ok to cry hysterically-to grieve with every piece of you. 

Your child is worth that.

The world moves on, but your world stands still. It is haunted by tiny caskets, empty cribs, and unspoken lullabies. So cry…
Release those stored up tears. 

I know you feel crushed with despair, like you can barely catch your breath, but surely I tell you, there is a day coming soon. A day when you will meet again. And hold them in your arms. 

But until then, it’s ok to lose yourself to tears. 

It’s ok to cry.
Sincerely, 

A mother that understands. 
 

 
I lie here on the floor in a bath of tears, my body violently shaking…

That’s the thing about losing a child-you are fine one moment, and then it hits you like a punch in the chest-they are gone. 

My husband lifts me off the floor, and tries to heal the pain with words. But I’m broken. A piece of me is here, and another far away. I am living and breathing, yet gasping for air.

Time does not heal these deep set wounds. Those wounds get covered up over time, but the scab is ripped off over and over again-leaving tissue that is open and fresh.

And I am left feeling the way I felt the day I said goodbye…the day I watched the pinkness of your skin drain from you. The day you took your last breathe.  

I try so hard to keep it locked away inside, but moments of despair creep in like an unexpected rain storm. 

I try to see the beauty in the life I hold so dear…but as I lie here next to my baby-I can feel your absence. I can feel the void. I long to have have you near. 

Each day is another day without you. A day my son has to live without his brother. A mother without her baby. A father without his son.

The pain is ever present. It is ever changing, yet always the same. 

Tomorrow I will get up and face the day ahead…but a part of me is gone. 

I am…but I am not. 

I miss you Michael Scott Austin. 25 days…25 days with you was not enough, yet it was everything. 

   

‭“He heals the broken in heart, And binds up their wounds.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭147:3‬ ‭